you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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