Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
