She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
