and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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