erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
