i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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