I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize