Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
