You're completely useless in the revolution.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
