Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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