I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
