we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I need to align my fucking chakras
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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