you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize