Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
