Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
