you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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