wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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