As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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