umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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