his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
