i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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