i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
it's like iHOP with fire
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
