If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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