That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
