Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
