the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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