you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
