Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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