there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize