i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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