no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
