My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
