garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
