wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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