my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Of course I have a pirate flag
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
