it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I could fuck to npr.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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