your parents love me but you hate me
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
