just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
