If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
love makes seman taste better
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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