bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
