I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
