$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
