I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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