we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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