so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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