she was so not down for the gang bang
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i would punch a child for taco bell
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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