You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
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