dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
