im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
