Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
