If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
