Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
