Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
