I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
