he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
