Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
