i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
