I'm really into asian looking animals
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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