office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I am spending my child support on dildos
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
