How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Barsexuality is the new black.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
