so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
