listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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